Monday, February 7, 2011

Movie Monsters

As I drove to work Saturday afternoon, I stopped at a light.  I noticed no cars in front of me, no oncoming traffic, and no cars to be seen behind me.  I looked to the right and left.  Nothing.  It was like I was the last person on earth.  You know what that usually means, don't you?  Be on the lookout for flesh eating zombies. 

What's with all the zombies on t.v. these days?  They're everywhere; on islands, in small towns, in truckstops, in abandoned medical and research facilities.  Just when you thought it was safe to go in a barn, who comes lurching out of the hay but a zombie! 

Now, don't get me wrong, I grew up on scary movies, I love them.  I was enthralled by Lon Chaney Jr. as Larry Talbot, the timid, sad and somehow endearing (to me, anyway) werewolf.  My little 10 year old heart just went out to him.  Bela Lugosi was suave and debonair, and always polite to the ladies, even when breathing down their necks.

I enjoyed nothing better than sitting in the dark, the only one awake, the blue flicker of the television lighting the room as I listened to the eerily sing-song rhythm of music building as the unearthly creature crept closer and closer, his eyes shining in the dim room.

I could watch them, because I wisely watched with a turtle neck on, pulled up over my nose, and my head scrunched down in my shoulders where a vampire would have a hard time even finding my neck.  This technique worked so well, not ONCE was I ever attacked by a vampire.  Or a werewolf.
But, zombies? Give me a break!  Kids these days just don't understand.  Zombies are just so... so.... NOT handsome, sympathetic, tortured by guilt, or socially savvy.  They can't carry on a coversation.  They dribble their food.  Ya just can't take 'em anywhere.

During his career, Lon Chaney Jr. portrayed  Wolf Man, Dracula, the Mummy, and Frankenstein.  I loved him in all of them, but I always say... Even a man who is pure in heart, and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms..and the autumn moon is bright.